In my house, silence is a rare thing. I have two boys who can do multiple things at once, switching between iPads, the television, gaming systems, and their toys, (sometimes simultaneously) like it is second nature. The constant movement and sound can be overwhelming to me, so what do I do? I often find myself putting in an earbud to create my own noise, just to focus on one thing at a time. It is in those moments that I realize how easy it is to become overstimulated, and how difficult it has become to simply listen to the silence.

We live in a world filled with noise. From notifications and group chats to endless scrolling and multitasking, our attention is constantly divided. Yet, real listening requires presence. It means pausing the mental checklist, setting aside distractions, and focusing fully on the person in front of us.

Listening Is More Than Hearing

Listening happens on three levels, each with its own impact:

1. Internal listening, when we focus on our own thoughts and reactions.
2. Focused listening, when we pay attention to the other person’s words.
3. Global listening, when we tune into tone, pace, emotion, and environment, the unspoken parts of communication.

Many of us stay at the first level, half-listening while thinking of what to say next. But when we reach that third level, we move from hearing to understanding. That shift builds connection, empathy, and trust.

Improving the Three Levels of Listening

Developing better listening takes awareness and practice. But each level offers an opportunity to grow. Let’s break down how we can work on these three levels of listening.

• Internal Listening: This level is natural, but it can easily limit understanding. To improve, notice your internal dialogue during conversations. Ask yourself, “Am I listening to respond or to understand?” When you catch your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the speaker. Small pauses and intentional breathing can help you stay present.
• Focused Listening: This level requires active engagement. Make eye contact, nod, and use short verbal cues to show attention. Avoid interrupting, even when you think you know what will be said next. Reflect back on key words or phrases, which confirms understanding and shows that you value what the other person is saying.
• Global Listening: This is where true connections happen. Begin observing what is not said, the tone, energy, and pace, of speech. Notice body language and shifts in mood. Pay attention to the environment too, since context often influences behavior. Practicing empathy is key at this level. Try to feel what the other person may be experiencing without judgment.

As you move between these levels, you will notice that conversations feel calmer and more meaningful. People open up when they sense genuine attention, and you gain insights that might otherwise go unnoticed.

A Story That Stuck with Us

During one of our Foundational Application of Social Engineering (FASE) courses, a student experienced the power of listening in a personal way. After completing the DISC behavioral assessment, he went home and discussed the results with his wife. They compared their profiles and realized they had been hearing each other’s words but did not understand each other’s needs. That single conversation changed their dynamic.

He later told us that before attending FASE, they were discussing divorce. Through learning about communication styles and listening with empathy, they reconnected. He said the course did not just change how he worked; it changed how he lived. Stories like his remind us that the principles we teach go beyond the workplace. They improve how we connect, relate, and care for one another.

Relearning the Lost Skill

Listening sounds simple, but it requires practice. Here are a few principles that can strengthen it:

• Be curious. Ask questions to understand, not to reply.
• Pause before responding. Silence allows others to share more than they planned.
• Observe emotion. What someone feels often matters more than what they say.
• Remove distractions. Eye contact and body language communicate attention.
• Reflect what you hear. Summarizing builds trust and shows genuine engagement.

As the year comes to a close, it is a good time to slow down and focus on these small but powerful habits.

The next FASE course in February is a great opportunity to deepen these skills. It provides a framework for understanding human behavior, improving communication, and building awareness, that strengthens both personal and professional life.

Learn more about the upcoming February session: Foundational Application of Social Engineering (FASE).

As the world around us grows louder, make time to listen with purpose. You might find that the quiet moments reveal the most important things of all.

Written by
Amanda Marchuck
Online Content Manager, Social-Engineer, LLC